Hey Leader,
You’re not the team therapist. You’re the leader.
And if no one has said this out loud yet, it makes total sense that those wires got crossed.
For years, I thought my job was to absorb the chaos so my team didn’t have to:
Catching fires before they reached them
Solving problems before they felt the weight
Translating executive chaos into calm direction
Holding the stress so they could "stay focused"
I thought that's what good leadership looked like.
But here's what I learned: there's a difference between protecting your team and overprotecting them.
One builds trust.
The other builds dependence.
Now, when someone drops a “got a minute?” or “quick question,” I don’t jump in. I pause.
And I ask: “I trust you. What direction are you leaning?”
Asking that question meant that:
I got hours back in my week
I stopped operating in reaction mode
My boss noticed me showing up at a higher level
My team started solving their own problems and felt proud doing it
I still protect them from unnecessary BS.
But I stopped protecting them from their own growth. Sometimes people need to struggle a little bit to learn and grow.
If this hit a nerve and you’re rethinking the ways you’ve been overprotecting your team, reply ‘Yes’ and tell me the one thing you’re ready to stop fixing for everyone else.
Lead boldly, live fully, & don’t forget to breathe.
In your corner,
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Scroll-Stoppers
This week’s most valuable scroll-worthy stuff, from tools to truth bombs!
How to Stop Fixing Problems That Aren’t Yours to Fix. A practical Medium piece on breaking the habit of taking on work that isn’t yours and returning ownership to your team.
The Hidden Cost of Being the Office Fixer. A Forbes look at the three types of “help” that actually hold your team back.
The Best Leaders Ask the Right Questions. An HBR conversation on why great leadership isn’t about having the answers, it’s about asking the questions that move work forward.
The Thrive Feature
Something big we’re building behind the scenes.
At some point in your career, being the person who can handle everything stops being an advantage.
You become indispensable. Trusted. Relied on.
And slowly, almost without noticing, your days fill up with execution instead of leadership. You’re in the room, but not always seen for the level you’re actually operating at.
This isn’t a capability issue.
It’s a positioning issue.
Most women leaders are never taught how to move from being the go-to person to being recognized as a strategic leader without disengaging, disappointing people, or letting things fall apart.
That’s exactly what we’ll cover in this free masterclass.
Join me as we break down the shift from execution-heavy leadership to strategic leadership that creates focus, influence, and momentum.
🗓 Wednesday, January 21, at 9 AM PT
Try This Today
Ask before advising.
When someone brings you a problem, lead with: “You’re closer to this project than I am. What are your thoughts on how to get started?” It shifts the ownership instantly. I started using this when I realized my team came to me first because I always gave them answers. Changing my response changed theirs.Let the silence work.
Give them 5–10 seconds before you speak. You’ll be shocked at how often they solve the issue themselves. I learned quickly that every time I answered too fast, I was training people to rely on me.Return the ball.
If it’s not yours to fix, don’t pick it up. Say: “Loop back with what you decide.” It keeps the work where it belongs.
Your Power Reframe
Because what you believe shapes how you live & lead.
This Sparked Something
Little joys, leadership sparks, & random things we’re loving this week!
The most underrated kitchen tool: A slapchop! I didn't learn about these until a month ago, and as a meal-prep girl, they're a lifesaver! 😀 ~Alli
Anticipatory joy: We’re hosting relatives visiting from Australia, which means near-daily shopping trips, lots of laughs, and today… a beach day 😁 ~Pau
Analog joy: We spend sooooo much time on screens each day. This year, I want to enjoy more analog living. That starts with one screen-free night a week! This week, I sewed cloth gift bags to "wrap" my husband's birthday presents in and read with a cup of tea next to the Christmas tree (yes, it's still up!). ~Alli